Lovers
by Redhead Turk
Summary: Reno's past is creating a wall between him and his girlfriend. He does not sense the wrong until she stands him up for a date for no reason. Is it really possible to accept that your lover has had many before you? An omnibus from a completed series.


Hello.

A query was submitted by one of the reasons about how Arien had reconciled Reno's obviously colorful sexual past. It was always something I meant to write about, but I never got around to it. Well, here it is.

If you want read the entire series, please refer to my works.

Thanks goes to Gliss, who wrote the song "Lovers in the Bathroom", which inspired the ennui atmosphere I tried to recreate in this story. If it didn't work, that is completely my fault.

Another thanks goes to the submitter of the question, which brought up many unanswered riddles in their relationship. I tried to address your question, but I'm not sure if it worked.

Final thanks goes to my boyfriend, who, while not giving me an easy relationship, has repeatedly taught me that it is alright to fall once in a while.

This has been based on a somewhat real-life experience on my part (well, not exactly the entire series of the events, but the main theme of it, anyway).

Note: I own Arien. I don't own the males that appear in this story.

Rated for innuendos and some language.

Lovers

"Reno!"

Reno raised his gaze, tearing his eyes away from the ground. It was sunny, and he had snapped on his sunglasses. Cigarette dangling from his mouth, hands in pockets, he grinned at his girlfriend. His bare arms – his black turtleneck had no sleeves – were a stark contrast to the black knit. A silver chain dangled from his belt loop and snaked its way into his pocket. His hair rustled as he moved.

"Hey babe. Found whatcha needed?"

"Yep." Arien DeVir smiled back at him, showing him a CD ROM that was held between her fingers. She was wearing a waistcoat over her bare skin – a dark grey with black lapels. Her back was exposed as tantalizingly as her front was covered. She wore black jeans and boots. It was spring, not too cold but certainly warm enough to shed sleeved clothes. It was unusually hot in Midgar this year.

"That was quick."

"Yeah, well, the lock wasn't as hard to pick." She waggled her finger as Reno produced a CD case with a flourish. She placed the CD in the case, then clicked it shut.

"Come on."

The two got into Reno's car. Reno opened the hood. Arien placed her sunglasses on her face; her dark hair fluttered in the wind as the car rolled out of the parking lot.

Arien was, for him, not as masculine as many of her colleagues would like to have said. She lazily filed her nails as he drove; that was really girly thing to do for him. He never cared about his fingernails in the first place, and he usually bit them when it became too long. Her hands were well taken care of.

She was an enigma to him. His waist and below should have known her inside well enough, but her wan eyes that he always saw after they were done were about as solvable as Rufus' plans. Sometimes she was a virgin maiden, some other times a harlot, and oftentimes she just played a detached woman whose mind seemed elsewhere.

"Hey, are ya free tonight?"

Arien did not look up as she filed her nails. "I should be," she said, without changing her tone. She inspected her nails. Something about her was distant, as if she had doubts. Or perhaps she did. He could not figure out what; sure, they had slept together and more than once, but still Arien was closed and remote as ever. Her replies were cool and controlled, her gaze calculated, her smile knowing.

"Alright. I'll come getcha at eight."

"Fine." She put her nail file away. Reno pulled up the Shinra Personnel's driveway. She got out before he opened his own door; without waiting for him, she was disappearing amidst the sea of cars, her hip slightly swaying, her hair swishing, her high-heeled boots clicking on the concrete. Reno slammed the door shut, glared at her back.

"Bitch."

* * *

"Hey, Arien. How's Reno?"

"Hey, Shiv." She sat next to him, faced the wooden counter. She had not changed since going back home; she was still clad in the waistcoat and jeans, with her boots. She rested her cheek in her hand languidly. "Scotch straight up."

"Tough day, huh?"

"Nah, the usual." She drummed her fingers against the wooden bar counter, moving her foot to the music listlessly. "Nothing too tough. "

"You look tired for that to be true." Shiv commented. She turned her head, looking at Shiv. She raised her eyebrows.

"Nothing happened, Shiv."

"Yeah, you keep saying that to yourself." Shiv finished his vodka shot in one go. "Didn't you go with Reno?"

"Can we not talk about it?" Arien snapped as she snatched the scotch glass from the countertop. She took a long draught. Then another.

"Whoa, whoa, take it slow, sister," Shiv admonished. "I can't carry you home, Arien. You're gonna get pissed at this rate."

"Who said I wasn't?" She retorted. She emptied the glass in one go. She shrugged, and smiled at Shiv crookedly, one corner of the lip raised, her gaze challenging. "Hey, want another?"

* * *

"Arie!"

Arien was so obviously drunk, Reno could not believe it. She was giggling wildly, and her gait was unsteady; Shivvalan was trying to tell her to walk properly, but it was rather clear that she could not. She giggled and said something incomprehensible when Shiv asked her where her keys were.

"Oh Reno, thank Shiva!" Shiv breathed a sigh of relief when he saw him. "Arien's pissed and I gotta get home ASAP."

"Yeah, I'll take it from here." He grabbed the woman, who had about the same rigidity as a jelly fish. Her long legs were unsteady, and she collapsed into his arms. She was still giggling; she smelled strongly of Scotch.

After bidding Shiv to go (which he went with gladness), Reno dragged the drunk woman downstairs. He had no idea where her keys were, nor did he intend anyone to use it tonight. She had some things to answer to – for example, why the hell did she stand him up?! But it was rather obvious that she was in no condition to answer; and maybe she went out to drink to stand him up on purpose. He knew her well enough to believe that she would not forget it if she had an engagement in her planner. So this only left one option. She had meant to not go with him. For one reason or another. This rankled him.

Unfortunately, as soon as he had half-tossed, half-thrown her into his bed, she was already asleep. Tugging her boots off, he threw them in the corner of the room; her nails were painted a soft opal hue. So many things went on in her head, yet none came out.

_Shout it out, Arie._

_Let it all out._

_Come on._

_I'm talking to you._

* * *

When Arien woke up the next morning, she first felt the following: an intense pain in her eyes which caused her to grown and stuff her face in the pillow, followed by a dull repetitive thump in her head, and Reno's sarcastic "slept well?".

"Yes, I did," she said into the pillow.

"Great. Then can you tell me why the hell you STOOD ME UP?" Reno's last three words sounded like a shout to Arien, and she winced. Of course he'd ask that. And of course, she meant to stand him up. Why the hell did he care? It wasn't like she expected him to be celibate, did she? Why did she care? In fact, why did anyone care? If Reno wanted a quickie, he probably had a dozen girls at his disposal, all eagerly awaiting to splay their legs for them. She was getting tired of this charade. They didn't love each other. So why exactly should they pretend that no one else existed like that in each other's lives? This was something she could do without.

"Hey! I'm talking to you!" Reno demanded. Arien peered from the pillow. He was wearing a crumpled off-white linen shirt that remained unbuttoned. It had a stand-up collar that was just as crumpled as the rest of his shirt. She raised an eyebrow.

"What's your point?"

"My point is, why the hell did you stand me up, bitch!"

"I wanted to go out for a drink with Shiv. I guessed your next good fuck didn't have to be me." She returned to her pillow again; let him sit on that for a while. She didn't care. God, her head hurt.

"Yeah, you're damn right." Reno stood up with a loud noise, nearly making Arien groan. At least couldn't he care enough to stand up quietly? Hello, someone who was nursing what felt like a life-threatening headache was over here! "You're damn right. There's no reason why you gotta be my next girl I get laid with. I'm a retard."

With that, he left the room. She closed her eyes. She did not care. The world did not care. He did not care. Nothing mattered.

* * *

Bitch. Whore. Slut.

About three dozen words came to Reno's mind, none of them complimentary. She was so distant, so uncaring, so uncommitted to this relationship. Like it didn't matter to her at all. Normally girlfriends didn't ditch their boyfriends to go out for drinks with her male friend unless…

Well, there was that. Unless that said male friend was more than just a friend. Arien and Shiv didn't seem to have anything going on, but then they were both in kind of jobs which made secrecy a second instinct. Her eyes seemed innocent, but then eyes could lie as well as the mouth.

He went back to the room, sat in the chair that usually had piles of laundry on it. In the dark grey light of the morning, she slept, her dark hair painting dark rivulets onto the sheets. He realised just how long her lashes were; they were so long that they cast spidery shadows on her white cheeks. Her white shoulders peeked from the cover. She hugged his pillow as she slept, her entire posture fluid and languid. The mouth that he had sucked on so many times was slightly open, showing white teeth and pink tongue.

The curtains were drawn. What was she to him? A girlfriend? A fuck buddy? A lover? Just a partner, both in bed and out? He didn't know. It was only the first time in which she showed intense emotions; after that, she had that faraway look in her eyes after they were done. He suddenly understood that for all this time, he never understood what she was feeling, thinking. And that frustrated him. Girls were supposed to be easy to decipher. They were supposed to exhibit the same kind of reaction to a given input, like an equation. But she broke that rule at every corner. Given a gift, she did not seem to appreciate it; after a date, she did not seem to care if she went home alone or not.

That was it. She definitely was cheating on him. How else could it be? She was just playing him along, stringing him along and toying with him, possibly even laughing at his expense behind his back.

He rested his forehead in his hand, watching her. The ennui that engulfed him was drearier than the sky.

* * *

Arien woke up a few hours later. Trying to blink sleep away from her eyes, she found Reno, still in the crumpled linen shirt, staring at her. "Er, hi." She said lamely. She really did not want to fling the covers – the weather had changed and it was a bit chilly to her naked skin – but she wanted to go back to her own bed to sleep properly. She could not sleep comfortably here; it smelled of him and that made her feel odd, like she was in his cocoon. She flung the covers and sat up, shivering as the chilly assaulted her bared skin. She was still in her clothes. Maybe Reno's insatiable lust was sated, if for the moment, then. The sky that she could see from the gap in the curtains was grey and cheerless.

"Er, thanks." She said awkwardly. "Sorry for being such a bother. I'll, er, go now…"

"You have someone else."

That statement was so starkly put she stopped her motion midway. She looked at him, narrowed her eyes a little, as if trying to unravel a mystery. "What makes you think that?"

It wasn't a denial. Nor was it admission. Reno glared at her. "You can't deny it, can ya?"

"I don't admit or deny anything." She continued her motion. Inside, outside, the air was heavy and thick with unsaid words. This was killing him.

"Come on. Just say it, will ya?" His voice was rising. "Then I can just get over it."

"Get over what?"

"The fact that you're cheating."

"Alright. I'm cheating." She shrugged. She stood up to reach for her boots, but he pushed her shoulder, rather violently, and she went back onto the bed with a soft flop.

"Hey."

"Tell me you're lying."

"First you want me to admit it, then you want me to admit that I'm not cheating. Which one do you want?" She looked at him as if he was a hopelessly slow child. "Whatever you want to think is true, Reno. Now, I really have to get home. " She began to reach for her boots again.

"The hell you're going home!" Reno barked.

"Er, yes I am. I can't live here." Again, the lack of emotional response.

"Why the hell are you so distant?! What is it that you're pissed about all the time?!"

"Nothing." She undid her elastic and began to rake through her hair with her fingers. It caught on a tangle; she picked the tangled strands out and began to comb through it with her fingers carefully.

"Like hell it's nothing."

She stopped, pursed her lips, then continued raking through her hair. "Why do you care? It's not like you're missing out on anything, Reno. I'm sure there are a plenty of other girls."

The statement felt like a physical blow. He could not speak for a moment. So this was the reason why. She thought exactly what he had thought of her. She did not meet his shocked gaze, but continued focusing on her hair.

"Arie, I haven't talked to any girl apart from Elena since we started going out."

"Look, I'll believe what I want to believe, you believe what you want to believe, okay?" She picked up the elastic from the bed and began to tie her hair.

"No."

"No?"

"Arie, for fuck's sake, this is the first serious relationship I've had in years. You ain't my fuck buddy, and like hell I'll be yours." He refused for this relationship to be just purely physical. He wanted her, and all of it. Her heart, her body. And right now, he was getting only one.

It was greedy. He had a colourful past, and here he was, asking her to ignore it, as if he had any right to do so. But it was all he could – to ask for everything, whether she could give it or not. A lonely touch would kill him as surely as a bullet in the head, if slower.

She looked at him, a knowingly sad expression in her eyes, as if she had given up on him. Her brown eyes had expected nothing out of him, not even celibacy. She had expected him to just use her, and she had come to peace with it. But was that what he really wanted? Was that what she really wanted?

"You're asking me to trust you?" She said slowly. "Reno…"

Did it really matter? She had tried to seal away that yearning into the deep dark corner of her heart, along with the screams of the dying and the spurts of blood. It made her just as human as those guilt, and she did not deserve it. She did not deserve to have human emotions, nor ask Reno to pay singular attention to her. Tomorrow life might end; how could she expect him to act as there would be tomorrow? Because tomorrow might be just darkness, sink in revelry like there's no tomorrow was the majority of the Turks' motto, and how could she ask him to look to tomorrow? She could not, just as she could not ask herself to do that.

"Reno, I'm not going to tie you down," she said honestly. "So stop acting like I'm trying to."

"What?" His stare bore into hers. "This isn't about me, Arie. This is about you." Emphasis on this. "I want you, and I'm not afraid to ask for it. You are!"

It was like a blow to her head. All this time she thought she was doing this for him, but in the end, she was doing this for herself. Because she was too cowardly to face the worst. So she had just convinced herself of the worst, and had decided not to act on it, under the pretense that this was for him.

She was a coward and a liar.

She made a derisive laugh, and turned away. She could not face those blue eyes, not now. Maybe later. Maybe never. Just not now.

"I'm not cheating," Reno was saying. "You are. You're cheating by not telling me what you want. You're too scared to ask for it because you don't want a no for an answer!"

She made no reply.

"If that's what you want, fine." He stood up. "But I'm gonna get what I want or die trying. See ya."

He crossed the room and had his hand on the doorknob when a voice said, "wait". It was her voice. Low and slightly husky. He turned. It seemed to him that she was trying not to see him; her head was turned sideways.

"Reno…" She turned to him.

He crossed back to where he was, in front of the chair. She raised her arms, seeking his embrace. He leaned forward, hand on the bed supporting his body, feeling her arms around his neck as he pressed his mouth against hers. She watched as his hands untied the knot behind her neck, letting the halter straps fall.

* * *

"Have you noticed it recently?"

"Noticed what, sir?" Rude pushed his sunglasses up against his nose. Reno was sparring against Arien – and was obviously winning by a large margin. She put up a good fight, but she was no match for the Turks' Fastest. He watched as his redheaded partner lash out a kick and swipe his opponent's footing clean from under her. She fell, but he grabbed her by the second, halting the imminent crash into the mattress.

"Reno seems… different." Tseng thinned his lips. "I can't really place my finger on what."

Rude kept his silence. Whatever that went on between the redhead and the raven-haired was their business. But something had changed in him, true. He sighed, almost missing his old partner. He had a new facet in his life now, something that was only shared with a certain other.

Loneliness was the definition of Turk's life. Rude had always thought at Reno had accepted it.

But maybe not.


End file.
